I'm heading home to LA tomorrow morning; my grandfather passed away just two weeks ago, and so I'm flying back for a few days to attend the service. Scheduling it in during finals week has been hectic, to say the least, but I'd much rather be with everyone for this than panicking over how to finish up my painting series. Gramps was amazing, a sort of ever-present and ever-awesome staple in my life, and so I can actually see this as being quite wonderful considering how many people are showing up to share stories and love and all that. I hope it is, I don't really feel like crying anymore.
The final days of my sophomore year have been progressing well enough, though I'm feeling far more burnt out than usual... Life's throwing a lot at me at once, and it's proving difficult to keep everything balanced. I ran into Chris, my illustration teacher from last semester, on the street and we talked about it for a while- if anything, it was just nice hearing it from him that he thinks I'm strong enough to get through all of this and come out on top. We need to sit down with Kate for some coffee. It'd be nice, and I miss chatting with him.
I've never felt more spiritually sound than I have in the past few weeks, and yet I'm simultaneously feeling so tried by everything... I've waited so damn long, it's difficult having to wait even longer even if it's the right thing to do. But hey, not everything's going to be so easy. Usually it's the confusedly tough things that end up being worth it. It's not like I'm unloved, so I need to stop feeling like crap each night convincing myself that I am. Dammit, I'm surrounded by love! I know I am.