Claire Hummel (shoomlah) wrote,
Claire Hummel
shoomlah

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Christ.

I'm so tired right now I don't even feel like ranting.

People say I'm lucky that I have a job at 16, working as an illustrator... What I supposedly love t'do. Sure, I do love drawing. Drawing is my life. But working for money is never the same- it's sucks away at your soul and your inspiration, leaving you to be an empty shell by the end of the day. I'm wearing away faster and faster each day...

The work I do here is so mindless, almost menial for an artist. The same characters over and over, clicking and colouring each and every one, having to work with flash, and only flash, day after day. Never able to feel the satisfaction of making a clean, brisk ink line or sketch. I'm dying. I need the money, and yet I kill myself to do it... I feel so oddly superficial. And the children on the site never appreciate how much damned work we put into these things. They assume that neopets has some damned 'art machine' that just cranks out images for the site. And people wonder why I'm cranky when they IM me about neopets. Damn, damn, coalburning damn-dingadingdingding...

I'm drawing turnips right now. Turnips. A giant pile of fucking turnips. Please, let me die.

...

I can only hope ComiCon will do something for my artistic and mental health... I already bought Steph's comic today, so there goes one perk of the con. Sigh.
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